Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The best and the worst

As I look at my life, it becomes clear how much it has changed over the past years. Old photos and diaries bring out the physical and mental contrast between the boy then and the teenager now.

Sometimes I wonder, wouldn’t it be great if I could turn back time? But what difference would it make? One day. I’ll find myself back in the present state wondering the same thing… like an endless and pointless circle…

Childhood is undoubtedly the best part of our lives. Sadly, we realize that only after its gone forever. Isn’t that highly unfair?

The worst thing about childhood, is its immaturity, or so I believe, the immaturity which prevents us from realizing the specialty of our age.

What if I could turn back time AND retain my maturity?

No… it would be only a physical childhood then. Imagine a (mentally) 16 year old being forced to go to bed at 10, without a cell. HORROR!

What is it that makes childhood so special anyway? Lack of pressure? Unlimited free time? I think there’s more to it than that.

As children, we tend to take up a much simpler view of the world. There are separate, clear cut pathways of the right and the wrong. Every incident is attached with pure joy or pure sorrow. The world seems to be full of 2 types of people – the black and the white.

But as we continue to see more of the world, we begin to mix up everything in life… resulting in mess. Some moments come where we even have to consider whether to be happy or sad. People tend to take up different shades of grey… making choices difficult. The same ground which had once provided a surface for crawling, seems so far away…

So the basic question… what causes things to mix up? Experience makes us grow matured, a result of us trying to make ourselves more suitable to the people around us… but does that mean that we become more suitable to ourselves?

Is there a way out of this? I guess not. Life is already set in the best possible way. So just be happy about it. :)

I want to go back to the time when..

"gettin high" meant "on a swing".. ^_^

when "dad" was the only "hero".. *_*

when "love" was "mom's hug".. <3

when "dad's shoulder" was the "highest place on earth".. :)

when your "worst enemies" were "your siblings".. x)

when "candy" was the only "sweet thing" that made you cry.. :')

when the only thing that could "hurt" were "skinned knees".. :(

when the only things "broken" were your "toys"..

and when..

"good-byes" only meant "till tomorrow".. -_-

The best thing about childhood, is its immaturity, or so I believe, the immaturity which enables us to just live, laugh and cry.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


There are very few people whose personalities I actually admire. And ya, Akash is one of them. Reasons:-

  • He is smart
  • Calm, not short-tempered
  • Careful observer
  • Humorous
  • Probably the only person who can digest my sarcasm and jokes (ok ok, they’re a bit harsh sometimes)

First meeting: Class 10, in maths class.

Class 11. Sourav sir changed my place (policy of divide and rule).

“Find a seat for yourself beside Akash”, he said.

“There’s only ONE seat beside him, sir” I would have liked to shout back.

Ok, so here’s a guy, with whom I’ve never conversed before, but whom I’ve known for almost 1 year. Apparently he seemed timid and quite. But soon… he he… sir had to change my place again. ^_^

Place change? Phuh! Even the section change in class 12 hardly bothered us. \m/

Most of the time we do nothing but fooling around. Here’s a sample.

Sms chat :-

Me: online aye

Akash: khachchi

Me: menu?

Akash: bhat, dal and chicken pieces

Me: yuck. Amio khacchi. Amar menu better

Akash: ki?

Me: fresh air. From my ceiling fan

Akash: I’m jealous

Me: dekhbi ar jolbi, ruti r moto fulbi (popular dialog by maths sir)

Akash: amar fan ta fresh air dey na. oke tor fan er bpare bol

Me: amar fan er toothpaste e namak ache

Akash: you’re like the breath of fresh air, you don’t move, you rotate… I love you…

Me: don’t try to woo my fan. She’s mine. Besides I can’t change her name to i10. I already did that with the living room fan.

Akash: khawa sesh. Online aschi

Did that make sense? No? That’s the point. :)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

That second every week

19D, Golf Club Road, SBI Quarters... The place holds all my childhood memories, and beloved people with whom I’ve lost all contact. Dad’s job compelled us to leave the place while I was in 6th grade. Mobile and email were still off-limits to me, so going away physically meant cutting off all means of communication. I never heard from any of those old pals again. We didn’t get any chance to revisit the place for the next couple of years due to Mom’s serious health issues. By the time she recovered, I had settled myself in the new environment, made a new set of friends and didn’t bother much about 19D.

But as fate would have it, I got admitted in a Physics tuition at Ballygunj recently, meaning that every Friday I would have to pass 19D on my way. This apparently was a nice opportunity to visit the old place again. But week after week went by, I never found myself ready to ask driver uncle to stop the car in front of that rusty gate.

I’m well aware that most SBI employees have transferable jobs. What if, once inside that place, I find all the old familiar faces missing? What if my favorite guava tree isn’t there anymore? What if the guards stop me at the gate as a stranger (they obviously will)?

I love passing by the Quarters, but I will never break journey there. It will spoil my game. I would keep the place and all the people (and of course the guava tree) intact in my memory as one single entity, rather than venture into the place and find an unknown world.

Nostalgia is a strange feeling, almost like a drug. You may hate it, but you can never have enough of it. It gives a kind of painful satisfaction.

People, who have read “The Night Train at Deoli” by Ruskin Bond, would call me a copycat for using some of his words in the above note. Quite justified, but I just couldn’t find a better way of expressing this on my own.

Right turn from the main road…, a narrow alley…, a series of gates…, last one with a SBI symbol…, a glimpse of the inner-world…dark pitched path…flooded with the evening sunrays…unknown children playing…, left turn…, main road again.

Though no record has been kept, the Physics tuition have been blessed with 100% attendance from me till date. ^_^

1st post

The fact that how I'll use this site remains undecided. I guess I can share instances and bits of my life. Just like my personal diary (except that it's not personal).